Big Brothers and Car Wrecks

 

So I googled big brother and this came up. It has nothing to do with my post I just thought it was funny.

 

I want to talk about big brothers, what are they there for?  Is a big brother supposed to be somebody you can look up to? Is he supposed to be somebody who is out there to keep you safe and have your back in a fight?  Is he supposed to be your best friend who you can complain about mom and girls to?

This is about fears so here is how it connects,

 

I am afraid of my big brother. 

 

But that is a manageable fear.  I am even more afraid of becoming like my big brother.  I don’t want my siblings to tense up when I walk in the room, or be afraid to be home because I am there. Do they? This is the problem with fears, you never know if they are real of not.

 

I always wanted to be the opposite of my brother and not have him determine who I became.  When I would do something I would ask myself “would he do this?” and do the opposite of what he would do.  But in this way did he determine who I became?  Once again, another problem with fears, you never know completely if they are real of not.

 

I am afraid of getting forgotten.

 

I am afraid of being noticed.

 

I am afraid of finally snapping and losing it.

 

I am afraid of losing the ones I care about.

 

I am afraid of losing.

 

I am afraid of car wrecks.